Things for Which to be Thankful

        Trains, cars, and airplanes,  that allow us to travel great distances to be with our loved ones.

        The spouse who complains when dinner is not on time, because he is home with me,
        not with someone else.

        My boys's who are complaining about doing dishes, because that means they are at home
        and not on the streets.

        The mess to clean after a party because it means I  have been surrounded by friends.

         The taxes we pay because it means that my husband is employed.

         The clothes that fit a little too snug because it  means I have enough to eat.

         My shadow who watches me work because it means I  am out in the sunshine.

         A lawn that needs mowing, windows that need cleaning  and gutters that need fixing
         because it means I have a home.

         All the complaining I hear about our government because it means we have freedom of speech.

         The space I find at the far end of the parking lot because it means I am capable of walking.

         My huge heating bill because it means I am warm.

         The lady behind me in church who sings off key because it means that I can hear.

         The piles of laundry and ironing because it means I have clothes to wear.

         The alarm that goes off in the early morning hours because  it means that I'm alive.

         Getting too much email bogs me down but at least I know I have friends who are thinking of me.

        Weariness and aching muscles at the end of the day because it means I have been productive.

Why can't you take a turkey to church?
Because they use such fowl language

Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was the chicken's day off.

Why did the police arrest the turkey?
They suspected it of fowl play.

Why didn't the turkey want any lunch?
He was already stuffed!

What's the best dance to do on Thanksgiving?
The turkey trot


Which side of the turkey has the most feathers?
The outside!

What can you never eat for Thanksgiving dinner?
Breakfast or lunch!

Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was the chicken's day off.

Why did the police arrest the turkey?
They suspected it of fowl play

What happened when the turkey got into a fight?
He got the stuffing knocked out of him.




If April showers bring May flowers what do May flowers bring?
Pilgrims!

Asked to write a composition entitled, "What I'm thankful for on Thanksgiving," a student wrote, "I am thankful that I'm not a turkey."

What did the widowed mother turkey say to her disobedient children?
If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!

My Mother Taught Me About...

My Mother Taught Me About...

1. My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION...
"Just wait until your father gets home."

2. My Mother taught me about RECEIVING....
"You are going to get it when we get home!"

3. My Mother taught me to MEET A CHALLENGE...
"What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you! Don't talk back to me!"

4. My Mother taught me LOGIC...
"If you fall out off that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

5. My Mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE...
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

6. My Mother taught me to THINK AHEAD...
"If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job."

7. My Mother taught me HUMOR...
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

8. My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT...
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

9. My Mother taught me about GENETICS...
"You're just like your father."

10. My Mother taught me about my ROOTS...
"Do you think you were born in a barn?"

11. My Mother taught me about WISDOM OF AGE...
"When you get to be my age, you will understand."

And last but not least...

12. My Mother taught me about JUSTICE...
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you....Then you'll see what it's like!"

BITCHOLOGY

BITCHOLOGY 

 When I stand up for
myself and my beliefs,
they call me a 
bitch. 

When I stand up for
those I love,
they call me a
bitch. 

When I speak my mind, think my own thoughts or 
do things my own way, they call me a
bitch. 

Being a Bitch
means I won't compromise what's
in my heart. It means I live my life "MY Way."
It means I won't allow anyone to step on me. 

When I refuse to tolerate injustice and
speak against it, I am defined as a 
 bitch. 

The same thing happens when I take time for myself instead of being everyone's maid, or when I act a little selfish. 

It means I have the courage and strength to allow myself to be who I truly am and won't become anyone else's idea of what they think I 'should' be.


And if that makes me a  bitch. so be it!